AT Awards 2021
As Cogan Terrace had been so technically successful, showing exceptional real-world energy performance, I entered it into the CIAT annual competition; The AT Awards. The project was selected as a finalist. I duly purchased, and had gifted, some costly smart-casual clothes, in accordance with the invitation. I travelled to Kennington Film Studios in South London, staying in a hostel for a couple of nights.
The venue room was full of people wearing business suits and tuxedos. I was underdressed and felt like an outsider. My parents were watching the livestream at home, and as both runners-up were announced my heart lifted. I didn’t win, and although I was at a table with those who did, they didn’t seem to have any words for me. I felt alien amongst these company men.
Upset and overwhelmed, I sloped away from the room to pace the street. I happened back only for an unwitting photograph with TV star Matt Allwright. As I stepped into the lights for my photograph, Mr Allwright immediately noticed that I was wearing perhaps the finest shoes in the room; my bespoke handmade Chelsea boots from the now extinct Duckers’ of Oxford; I had made a friend. We avoided the suits together as best we could at the reception, talking in a huddle about footwear. I found the experience very challenging, which gave further impetus to my pursuit of an Autism diagnosis, which I had started in 2015. I received a diagnosis in 2022, and this has joined-the-dots for me of both my talents, and limitations. The same top-tier 3D visualisation and intelligent-inference skills that I use in my architecture, make it problematic to determine reality in relation to other people. The intense pressure of solo architectural practice makes it harder, and leads to damaging episodes self-isolation.